MTV spent most of the fifth season of The Hills hyping up the final two episodes - also known as Lauren's farewell.
In last week's episode Spencer and Heidi begin preparing for their wedding. For real this time. Spencer tells his buddy Charlie while at the driving range that he met Heidi's father, and got his blessing. He describes Heidi's dad, "Cowboy Bill makes Curly from City Slickers look like a punk biatch." Spencer, you've always had a way with words.
Across town, Spencer's kid sis goes to a party not realizing its thrown by her former boss, Kelly Cutrone. They have a confrontation in which Stephanie swears she didn't know it was Kelly's party. Kelly replies, "This is a Nylon Magazine party. They are my client. Do you remember?" Brutal.
At the end of the episode Heidi shows up to People's Revolution to give Lauren an invitation to her wedding personally. Heidi asks "You think I am making a big mistake, don't you?" to which Lauren barely hesitates and responds "Yeah. I do." No shock there. Lauren makes Heidi cry and she leaves before her perfect hair and make up have the chance to be altered.
In the final scene, Spencer calls Lauren to apologize for spreading the rumors about a sex tape of her and her ex Jason Wahler (a claim he previously denied). Lauren is completely unamused.
Cut to this week's episode where everyone, even Brody tries to convince Lauren to go to the wedding. In a cute moment, while out to dinner at Beso, Brody promises that if Lauren comes to the wedding, he will stick out his tongue and make fart noises when Heidi walks down the aisle. I mean, I couldn't help but laugh.
Later, Brody and Spencer have an awkward conversation in which Brody mocks Spencer for going to therapy, and says he is still a cold hearted scum bag. A little pre-wedding pep talk from your childhood best friend. The usual. Did anyone notice Brody was drinking a PBR? Is it weird that that made me fall in love with him a little bit more?
Before the wedding, Lauren and Lo have one final night in their house with all their friends. As if the Hawaii hook up never happened, Audrina and Jade sit about two feet from each other and act completely civil. Did I miss something? Last I checked Jade didn't want Audrina on the same planet as her.
The night before the wedding, at the rehearsal dinner, Heidi's maid of honor, her sister Holly, gives an odd and slightly offensive toast. She is clearly hammered, and continues to prove this fact by throwing food across the table at her younger brother Sky. Speaking of, did we ever know the Montag girls had a brother before this episode?
Holly winds up storming out of the dinner, crying to her mom, yelling at Spencer and leaving the dinner early. Bet you'd like to erase that footage.
The final scenes of the season finale are of Spencer and Heidi's wedding. In a surprise (if you live under a rock and don't read magazines or online gossip sites) Kristin Cavallari of Laguna Beach fame, showed up and sat down right next to Justin Bobby at the wedding.
Kristin is replacing Lauren as the star of The Hills for season six. And as the previews showed in glittering letters "the bitch is back."
The cast is already hard at work filming, including this meal out for Mexican. I can still hear Kristin's shrill voice shouting "Ste-PHEN!" to her beau Stephen Colletti.
I am undecided if I will watch without LC. Just seems wrong. Will you?
