This week we said goodbye to the first season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. The shortest season in the franchise by far, I was surprised the final episode came so soon.
At the start of the final hour Dina and Lexie come over to check out Teresa's massive new dream house. As Teresa gives the tour, Dina says "I shouldn't be surprised I love Teresa's new house. She has great style. I always love what she wears." Meanwhile, Teresa is giving the house tour in a kids, red t-shirt and cut off, ripped jean shorts. Oh yeah, real stylish Dina.
Over at Casa de Vegas, Jacqueline's parents are in town and convince her its ok to give Ashley a car, but with conditions. When Jacqueline and Chris present Ashley with her new car she freaks out and keeps saying "Thank you, Dad!" Kind of cute that she calls Chris "Dad". Really cute, actually.
The majority of the episode featured Teresa's dinner party to which each of the housewives, their spouses and children were invited. Dina and Caroline's husbands were MIA, but the rest of the crew was present.
Teresa begins the dinner conversation by talking about how often her husband likes to have sex. Classy. She explains even when he was driving her home from her boob job, he wanted to pull over to the side of the road. I believe we call that an overshare.
Just as everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves, the theme song from Jaws kicks in, and Danielle pulls out . . . wait for it . . . THE BOOK! And just gentley puts it on the table. Oh no, she didn't!
Oh yes, she did and no one is happy about it. Let the cat fight begin! Everyone is yelling. Danielle is accusing Dina, Caroline is coming to Dina's defense, Jacqueline calls everyone liars and then Teresa, wanting to join in the fun, calls Danielle a "prostitution whore" and tries to throw the table over!
But she couldn't just leave it at that, Teresa lungs at Danielle, causing Teresa's husband Joe and Dina to drag her away and cover her mouth. Oh boy. Don't get too crazy, T. Wouldn't want to harm the new bubbies.
The best part of the whole dinner debaucle was when Teresa asked a nanny (or who we assume is a nanny) to take her daughters outside before the adults begin discussing the book. She had no problem discussing her sex life in front of them, but they can't hear Danielle defend herself? Hm.
This dinner argument also reveals the source of the ever popular sound bite "Let me tell you something about my family, we are as thick as thieves." Finally we learn the origin of Caroline's mantra that has been in every preview for this season's epsiodes!
At the close of the episode, we learn that Teresa is expecting baby number four! Please let it be another girl so they can name her Sofia, Adriana or Carmella. You know, another name that rhymes with Gia, Gabriella and Milania.
We also learn that Jacqueline and Chris are expecting! Yay! I am genuinely happy for our peacemaker, Vegas girl. As it turns out, her husband is a peacemaker too. He was the only one with a level head and a sense perspective at Teresa's dinner party.
Should the girls return for another season, I would like Dina's husband to show his face, and for Danielle to be replaced by a new housewife. Her sketchy past took up too much time this season. Perhaps with the Jacqueline and Teresa's new additions, there could be a spin off - the Real Babies of New Jersey! They'd be just as noisy as their moms, but in cuter outfits.
While the regular casts are on hiatus, a new crop of women are being cast and filmed - the Real Housewives of Washington D.C.! Now this, I am excited to watch! In Washington D.C. its not just about money, its also about power, and that is a dangerous combination. Bring on the politicians, the affairs with interns, and the black tie galas!
Still digging for more dirt on the New Jersey finale? Read the complete wrap up at Gawker.com
