This week on the Upper East Side things were a little . . . off. I'll start with my biggest gripe, the story line of my beloved Chuck Bass. What the heck? Chuck spends the entire episode in some kind of want-to-be dream sequence where he discovers his father was part of a secret society.
He wakes up with flashbacks to a night at a masquerade ball, with a beautiful mystery woman, and looks down at his wrist to discover a tattoo! I gasped in disgust! Could Chuck really have had so much to drink he would not remember getting a tattoo? Yeah actually, I guess he could.
Chuck becomes obsessed with finding his masked, mystery lady. When he finally does reunite with her, he learns his father had an entire recreational life he was unaware of. This news is confirmed by evidence found in his father's safe. I truly hope this story line comes out of la la land and into reality if its going to continue into next week. Or at least fix the hazy lighting.
When we last left Blair, she was sentenced to detention for torturing Miss Carr. We see her this week ordering around Dorota, who is doing Blair's trash detail, in her maid uniform. Nice. Blair arrives at school and demands the help of her peons in taking down Miss Carr. At first the girls refuse, but once Miss Carr helps to enforce a new rule about no cell phones in school (GASP!) they're fired up and ready to go. In the scene where the cell phones are confiscated the ladies stand out in a crowd of gray pea coats, dolled up in candy colored designer duds. A feast for the fashion loving eyes.
In the quest to take down Miss Carr the ladies send a tip to Gossip Girl that Miss Carr is canoodling with Dan Humphrey. Miss Carr will not take this kind of slander lying down! She runs to her BFF the headmistress, who expels Blair on the spot. Say bye bye to Yale, Blair Bear.
In the first half of the episode Dan and Serena decide to call it quits (again) and just as Serena thinks she is over it, she discovers Dan and Miss Carr embracing at a coffee shop. She becomes possessed by jealousy, takes a picture of them, and allows Blair to have the photo, and use it to crash the parents meeting and plead her case.
Miss Carr is fired, Blair is reinstated at Constance, and Serena still has a broken spirit.
In the closing scene of the episode Dan arrives at Miss Carr's apartment to apologize. In the blink of an eye, they are ripping each other's clothes off in the steamiest scene we have witnessed in weeks! I felt like I needed a cigarette! And I don't even smoke! Oh Lonely Boy, before Serena you proudly carried the V-card and now you're shackin up with the teacher. My how times have changed. I can't wait to hear Rufus' opinion on the matter.
This week's episode had a disappointing lack of Vanessa and Nate! The very adorable couple made two cameos, but I wanted more! Bring them center stage, please! And the two blonde little sibs - Jenny and Eric were also mostly MIA. We love the tortured younger siblings! Give them some good angsty material!
Until next week, you know you love me, xoxo.
