Bye Bye Jack Bass, Hello Chuck Van der Woodsen



This week on the Upper East Side, its college acceptance week! No one is more eager than Miss Blair Waldorf. Blair's father, his lover, and Dorota (best sidekick EVER) all dress up in Yale colors and present her with a good luck present - a bulldog! The Yale mascot. Precious!

Blair employs all her little peons to continually refresh their blackberrys/sidekicks checking for a message in her inbox with the one word she is longing for most "Congratulations". Unfortunately when Blair's message does arrive, it contains two horrifying words instead "Wait List".

While Blair shrieks in horror, Dan and Serena both receive messages that they have been accepted to Yale. In an effort to soften the blow for Blair, Serena lies to her, and says she has been wait listed as well.

Today we also meet a new face at Constance, English teacher Miss Carr. Having just completed Teach for America in Alabama, Miss Carr is finding the big city a little overwhelming. More on her later.

Over at the Bass camp, Chuck is pulling out all the stops to de-thrown Uncle Jack. Nothing seems to be working, so Chuck throws up a flare, in the direction of his step mother, Lily Van der Woodsen. Chuck asks for Lily's help in regaining his post as the head of Bass Industries.

Lily is slightly preoccupied with her lover, Rufus. Lily asks Rufus to come with her to the Opera, and to make their relationship public. During this scene I was incredibly distracted, because the actress who plays Lily (Kelly Rutherford) is pregnant in real life, and the producers did absolutely nothing to hide this! So there is Lily Van der Woodsen, looking pregnant through out the entire episode! I know GG's budget is high enough to buy this woman some large hand bags to cover this up! Come on now!

Lily and Rufus aren't the only ones in love. Love is in the air for Vanessa and Nate as well. Nate's family has their money back, or unfrozen is more accurate, and Vanessa has been out with Nate to do many "Archibaldy things" as she calls them. She decides to treat Nate to one of those events herself, and buys them tickets to the Opera. In the nosebleeds. Its the thought that counts.

While Dan is celebrating his acceptance to Yale, Serena declines hers to make way for Blair. Blair is too busy to care because the new teacher, Miss Carr has given her a B, which blemishes her perfect transcript. Blair plots against Miss Carr, only to have last minute remorse, and tries to apologize. Too late Blair.

Miss Carr notifies the head mistress of Blair's prank, and the head mistress in turn notifies Yale. Blair will serve detention and her grades must be perfect for the duration of her senior year in order to be considered for acceptance. OUCH.

Everyone who is anyone in New York City turns up at the Opera event, from the Upper East Side to Brooklyn. Nate and Vanessa, Dan and Serena, Lily and Rufus, and Jack and Chuck Bass. While waiting for the performance to begin, Lily is approached by her attorney who reminds her, she never signed the papers to legally adopt Chuck. LIGHT BULB. This is how Lily can help him!

Lily and Chuck sign the paperwork right there in the Opera house, making Lily Chuck's legal guardian, and the head of Bass Industries. Jack is horrified and takes his anger out on Lily by cornering her in the women's bathroom and attacking her. Chuck, knowing his devious uncle, catches on, busts into the ladies room, and saves Lily. Classic trash TV sequence! I love it!

Nate and Vanessa are seated in the nosebleeds when the woman next to Vanessa starts hacking up a lung. Nate admits they can sit in his box seats if she wants to. They decide to seek refuge in the box seats, where naturally a make out session ensues. How Vanessa could be attracted to Nate when he had his hair parted like that, I will never know.

Meanwhile, Dan is angry with Serena for declining her Yale acceptance, and ruining his dream of them going to college together. They avoid each other's calls, and just as Dan is ignoring a call from Serena, who arrives in Brooklyn at the gallery . . . Miss Carr! The two share a flirty look, and we all know where this is headed! Look out Serena, your new favorite teacher just may be making a play for your man.

The episode ends with a touching scene between Lily and Chuck, in which Lily assures him that when he turns 18, he will receive his title and all its accompanying duties, as his father had intended. Chuck thanks Lily, and asks if the offer still stands for him to move back in. She nods yes, and he says "then I'd like to move back". Chuck, you do have a soul! My devotion to you increases with each passing week.

Next week: Celebrity Death Match - Blair vs. Miss Carr. Grab a front row seat, this is going to be a blood bath!

 

Molly Galler

Welcome to Pop.Bop.Shop. My name is Molly. I’m a foodie, fashionista, pop culture addict and serious travel junkie. I’m a lifelong Bostonian obsessed with frozen confections, outdoor patios, Mindy Kaling, reality television, awards shows, tropical vacations, snail mail and my birthday.

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